Eternals TV Show Would Have Been Weirder (and Better?) Than the Movie

January 5, 2024

Consider the opening scene from Marvel‘s Eternals. A teenage boy picks up a power drill and switches it on. As the whirring of the motor intensifies, the boy puts the drill to his ear and slowly, methodically. pushes it in. What? You don’t remember that scene? Probably because it comes not from the 2021 movie […]

The post Eternals TV Show Would Have Been Weirder (and Better?) Than the Movie appeared first on Den of Geek.

WandaVision got the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Disney+ era off to a strong start and it’s not hard to see why. The series featured a compelling love story between a witch and an android, satisfying callbacks to classic sitcoms, and most importantly: Kathryn Hahn.

Hahn (who I’ll never get tired of reminding people is from my native Cleveland Heights, Ohio) is a charismatic performer who tends to elevate just about anything she pops up in. That’s why it was no surprise that her mild-mannered next door neighbor Agnes was revealed to be none other than Agatha Harkness – powerful witch and the architect of all of Wanda’s suffering. Following the success of WandaVision, Marvel quickly announced a spinoff starring Hahn as Agatha. Now if they could only figure out what to call the darn thing …

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The Agatha Harkness TV show has gone through more name changes than Doctor Strange has gone through multiverses at this point. The show was initially announced as Agatha: House of Harkness before shifting over to Agatha: Coven of Chaos and finally settling on Agatha: Darkhold Diaries. Or at least we think it’s settling on that. The show won’t premiere until late 2024 so it has some time to change its mind yet again. (Note: Per a Variety report, Marvel claims all the name changes have been intentional to invoke Agatha’s capricious nature and not production indecisiveness. Believe them or not as you please.)

While we wait for Agatha to invite us into her House of Harkness to unleash the Darkhold Diaries and establish a Coven of Chaos, let’s determine which name was really the best by ranking them all.

Honorable Mention: Agatha All Along

Back in December 2023, a Scarlet Witch fan account on Twitter (supposedly now called “X” but not really) reported that “Agatha All Along” had been selected as the new and final name of the Agatha TV show and would be revealed soon, citing the account “CanWeGetToast.” Days later Disney would release its official 2024 schedule with the series appearing as Agatha: Darkhold Diaries so uh … swing and a miss.

If Marvel was ever really considering Agatha All Along as a name we’re glad we opted against it. It would be an SEO nightmare when trying to look up the “Agatha All Along” song from WandaVision. On a related note:

Honorable Mention: Agatha: The Witches’ Road

Bless the aforementioned Scarlet Witch fans on social media because they’ve been truly cooking. Another theory dreamed up by online Wanda-heads involved the Agatha TV show being named Agatha: The Witches’ Road. “The Witches’ Road,” also known as Magika, is an interdimensional realm that only magic users can access. It was first introduced into Marvel canon in issue 3 of 2016’s Scarlet Witch series written by James Robinson and illustrated/inked by Steve Dillon and Chris Visions (no relation).

Though a location strongly resembling The Witches’ Road appears in the brief first look of the Agatha TV series, there is no indication that Marvel ever considered it as a title option.

4. Agatha

The copyright for the Agatha TV series was initially filed as merely “Agatha.” Thankfully, goofier heads prevailed and the show is definitely going with an overwrought subtitle as Agatha Harkness deserves.

3. Agatha: Coven of Chaos

OK this one sucks and they were definitely right to move on from it. When it comes to television, not only did American Horror Story get to the “Coven” subtitle first but it’s just too overtly witchy for a show that will undoubtedly cover the broader magical canon that Marvel has to offer.

2. Agatha: Darkhold Diaries

Marvel certainly could have done worse than what they eventually settled on (see above) but Darkhold Diaries still doesn’t inspire much confidence. First of all aren’t “Darkhold” and “Diaries” kind of redundant? What is the Darkhold if not a diary containing all the sweet fruit of dark magical knowledge? Additionally, “diaries” suggests a much more non-serialized experience than Agatha is likely to deliver. If every episode of the show ends with Agatha writing down her thoughts in a diary though, we’ll stand corrected.

1. Agatha: House of Harkness

The Agatha TV show had it right all along! House of Harkness was the perfect choice to set the mood for a WandaVision spinoff. “House of” not only evokes the surely very long history of Agatha’s bloodline but also provides a sort of fittingly playful vibe – as if the “House of Harkness” is a literal place to hang out with a witch versed in chaos magic.

The post Ranking the Agatha TV Show Titles appeared first on Den of Geek.

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